What’s More American than the Fourth of July? Why, Apple Pie!
Jul.4
If you’re like me and grew up in a state where fireworks were once not only legal, but distributed freely by the local Chamber of Commerce, you’ve probably got a few unique Independence Day memories to call your own. The props in my own favorite Fourth of July anecdote include a large trampoline, truckloads of sparklers and punks (both the functional fire-bearing kind and the neighborhood kind), and a set of blissfully unaware parents – in other words, the stuff scary public service announcements warn against. I’m sure you have similar tales, but perhaps it’s best if we all store those particular stories far away from the impressionable young minds we hope to keep safe.
Still, Independence Day is such a fancy-free holiday – it’s warm out, most folks are free from work, and the expectation to eat, drink, be merry, and enjoy some cool pyrotechnics is an easy one to meet. Even if you prefer to spend your Fourth of July watching cable movie marathons and catching the ice cream truck as it drives by your house, that’s a perfectly wonderful way to celebrate living in a free country.
Now that I’m older, slightly wiser, and satisfied by the beauty of one or two sparklers enjoyed safely on the front porch near a bucket of water, Independence Day has become my favorite opportunity to bake sweet things and eat them freely, without any guilt or longstanding monarchy to stifle my dessert experience. In honor of my lovely new kitchen chalkboard and all things ultra-American, I’ve decided to bake an apple pie from scratch this year.
I began with a quick search for the highest rated apple pie recipe on the Internet. Once Google did what it does best, I scribbled down the ingredients and baking steps for easy viewing while I work (I don’t know about you, but following a recipe I’ve written down at eye level on the wall is much easier than navigating a cookbook’s small font or trying to avoid smearing the computer keys with butter). Yesterday, I took a trip to a nearby apple orchard – here in New York, apple-picking is practically a summer sport – and now I’m all set to spend some time baking for today’s festivities.
If you’re lucky enough to know a few mini-chefs who’d love to help with preparation and will likely have no problem spending any boring baking time on the swingset outside, you could easily make this basic-but-modifiable, all-American treat part of your Fourth of July celebration:
Grandma Ople’s Apple Pie (from allrecipes.com)
Ingredients
1 recipe pastry for a 9-inch double crust pie
1/2 cup unsalted butter
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
8 Granny Smith apples – peeled, cored, and sliced
Directions
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Melt the butter in a saucepan. Stir in flour to form a paste. Add water, white sugar and brown sugar, and bring to a boil. Reduce temperature and let simmer.
Place the bottom crust in your pan. Fill with apples, mounded slightly. Cover with a latticework crust. Gently pour the sugar and butter liquid over the crust. Pour slowly so that it does not run off.
Bake 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Reduce the temperature to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Continue baking for 35 to 45 minutes, until apples are soft.
While your Independence Day dessert is baking, leave a comment and let me know what you did to make this summer staple – and your Fourth of July – your own special creation.
Oprah’s Last Show Still Not the End of An Extraordinary Background
May.24
Photo credit: Associated Press
Today, America witnessed the official end of The Oprah Winfrey Show, which debuted back in 1986 at the height of daytime talk show popularity and has since zipped past all other shows in its genre to become a one-of-a-kind… entity. But before attempting to pay tribute to a woman whose life and influence will be studied for centuries after she’s gone, I must admit that I have never been a die-hard daily viewer, nor have I made a decision based on one of Oprah’s renowned bits of wisdom or glowing recommendations. Or have I?
Like most people born in the early ’80s, I grew up with a vague awareness that Oprah Winfrey was someone everyone loved to watch, talk about, and make fun of. Her show was often on in the background while I struggled with my first difficult homework assignments in fourth grade, and when I became a fan of the sketch comedy In Living Color during middle school, her apparently fluctuating weight was an easy target and still remains a prime example of the worst kind of pop culture comedy.
If there’s no specific scandal or sensational event pinpointing the moment a notable becomes notorious, fame remains just another nebulous phenomenon and explaining one person’s specifically pretty impossible. I can’t tell you how you it happened, but Oprah Winfrey became a force infinitely more interesting and important than the Jolie-Pitts, Charlie Sheens, and Britney Spearses of celebrity culture.
Oprah in 1986. (Photo credit: Chicago Now)
Oprah truly ruins the curve for the rest of humanity. Anyone who can go from what sounds like complete emotional, demographical, and financial destitution to holding a lonely spot as the only black woman on the Forbes billionaire list, founder of an entire network supporting multiple philanthropic organizations, and the inspirator behind countless positive social and consumer improvements makes the phrases “I can’t” or “I shouldn’t” sound so incredibly whiny.
Almost 30 years later, she’s leaving a famous daytime spot she made infamous, still at the height of her show’s popularity. While most people take away bittersweet memories and cheesy office mementos when they leave a cherished, long-held career, Oprah takes away a legacy, a lexicon (the trademarked “aha” moment), and the credit for launching countless careers. And let’s never overlook her impeccable taste. I barely know the woman, yet I’d let her come in to replace my product choices and redecorate my house in a heartbeat, even if she swore me to secrecy and made me leave while she worked. I’d only make sure that all my bookshelves were enticingly empty. Say what you want about an unmovable Oprah Recommends sticker – anyone who inspires Mr. and Mrs. Johnny Q. Television to pick up The Heart is a Lonely Hunter for the bus ride home deserves her own stamp of approval.
For the last couple of weeks, the commercials leading up to Oprah’s last show have been relentless. Gift giving and the intricate psychological processes people can experience while shopping for loved ones is an interest of mine, and every time a teaser commercial popped up, I found myself wondering what Oprah’s friends, coworkers, and personal assistants were going through as they shopped for what to get an unparalleled magnate as a going away present.
Of course, I have some decorative peel-and-stick suggestions, but given the magnitude of this particular going away, even my go-to going away gift ideas are causing me to sweat a little in this very pretend scenario. What do you get for the woman who literally has everything and worked fantastically hard to get it? A written apology from Keenan Ivory Wayans? No, I’m sure Oprah is by now relatively impervious to the ridiculous weight jokes that hackneyed comedians still rely on now and again to poke fun at the inspirational and seemingly untouchable woman.
The only present I could think to get her would truly be for me. I’d get her a set of chalkboard panels for writing down her newly unheard witticisms and wisdoms, but I’d ask her if we could keep them in my kitchen for those moments when an overdue bill or unsuccessful dinner party seems like the end of the world.
Even though I never officially boarded the Oprah train, her permeating presence seems to make the world a better place. It’s nice to know that a few people like that are around, and it’s comforting to know that syndication is just around the corner, just in case I get the itch to find out exactly how much of my subconscious is Oprah-inspired. ♦
I’d love to know what you’d get Oprah if you were her number two (or four, or even seven). Do you know someone who seems to have everything already? What’s your meaningful go-to going away gift for the guy or gal whose life is wonderfully full? Leave a comment and give me a hand with this particular conundrum, won’t you?
Homemade Ice Cream Recipes for Planning Summer Dessert Socials
May.11
When I was a kid just old enough to navigate the dry goods in our pantry, my favorite game to play was Pretend Restaurant. My patrons (sisters) ordered spaghetti and steak, so I served them cereal and marshmallows. My middle sister, who is now a chef, liked to feign outrage, become unruly, and refuse to leave without taking an irritating nap on top of my place settings. Pretend Restaurant became much more fun during the summers, when it often became Pretend Ice Cream Parlor instead. I’d spend scorching afternoons watching my grandmother’s electric ice cream maker spin inside its little wooden bucket, ready to serve whatever manner of frozen chunky peach or mint chocolate chip ice cream would appear inside that thick metal container after hours of torturous waiting. My patrons were better behaved during the dessert course, but a surplus of sugar usually led to monkey antics at the ends of their bowls.
Wherever that little ice cream maker is, I bet it still works like new. Since one of my summer aspirations is to host a Saturday afternoon sundae bar soiree with a few pals (and maybe a sister or two, if they can control the urge to digress), I’ll need to browse a few used electronics sections to find one so comparably sturdy and loud. Decorating the adult version of Pretend Ice Cream Parlor should be easy, since I’ve long envisioned shades of chocolate browns glazed and spackled with oversized sprinkles.
One of the latest designs from WallCandy® Arts happens to be an extremely spacious ice cream cone chalk board wall decal. I got a chance to play with it during the ENK Children’s Show in March and immediately bought one the moment it appeared on the website. It doesn’t take much to get me thinking about ice cream, but an adorable person-sized space to play with sundae bar ideas is the stuff dreams are made of. Once my very real ice cream menu has been somewhat finalized and the soiree draws near, I’ll erase my blueprints and use it to display descriptions of my creative toppings for any visual learners I might invite. Or, if I’m feeling like a sharer, I could write my recipe in the sherbetest of invented fonts.
Even if summers are already pretty magical in your house, simply adding homemade ice cream to your summer to-make list will send a psychic shiver of glee down the spines of any child within a 2-mile radius. When it’s your turn to host a play date, suggest the kids decorate their imaginary ice cream shack and while you taste your way through the various stages of sorbet-making and topping chopping.
If you don’t have an ice cream maker, start with this basic single-serving homemade ice cream recipe from curvygirlguide.com to satisfy summer cravings without making a dessert run:
Ingredients
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 cup milk or half & half
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
6 tablespoons rock salt
1 pint-size sealable plastic bag
1 gallon-size sealable plastic bag
ice cubes
Directions
Fill the large bag half full of ice and add the rock salt. Seal the bag. Put milk, vanilla, and sugar into the small bag and seal it. Place the sealed small bag inside the large one and seal the large bag carefully. Shake until mixture is ice cream, which takes about 5 minutes. Open each sealed bag carefully and enjoy!
For a more grown-up ice cream party, try this homemade raspberry buttermilk sherbet recipe from foodnetwork.com:
Ingredients
6 cups raspberries (5 or 6 pints)
1/4 cup 100% grape or apple juice
1 cup superfine sugar
1 1/2 cups buttermilk
1/4 cup heavy cream
salt and freshly cracked pepper
Directions
Puree the raspberries, juice, and sugar in a food processor until smooth. Pour through a mesh strainer into a bowl and discard the raspberry seeds. Stir in the buttermilk, cream, and a pinch of salt, then cover and refrigerate until cold, about 1 hour. Transfer the mixture to an ice cream maker and freeze according to the manufacturer’s instructions. Transfer to an airtight container and freeze until firm, at least 2 hours. Serve sprinkled with pepper.
I’m personally going to try my hand at a sherbet punch ice cream. I haven’t found a solid recipe yet – at least not one that includes any warnings about turning the punch into a solid ice cream – but experimenting with dessert sounds about as risky and intimidating as laying on a beach in Bermuda. I’m sure it’ll be fine, as long as no one demands a sample before my concoction’s official Pretend Parlor debut.
Stumped on Gift Ideas for Mom? Ask the Cat for Mother’s Day Advice!
May.3
Maevis, trying on the give-what-you-want gifting philosophy.
A few of my mother’s most motherly qualities also make her impossible to shop for. She’s selfless, giving, and a longtime expert accumulator of the ultimate just-in-case stockpile, from first aid and batteries to wrapping paper and working ink pens to flood insurance and paper shredder gear grease. Her luxury retail addictions are localized to two manageable arenas: drugstores and beauty supply chains.
As I made my way through college, I’d often come home during breaks to find in her bathroom the kind of full-sized product stash one usually finds in an overstock inventory.
“You don’t even wear makeup. Do you need two dozen waterproof eyeshadows?” I asked.
“Sure I do,” she replied, removing the items in question from the secret compartment in my overnight bag specifically reserved for borrowing things without asking. “And I’ll thank you to stay out of the guest closet.”
Several head-scratching special occasions later, I finally saw fit to cross drugstores and beauty supply chains off the list of places to find gift ideas for Mom. Chances are she’ll already own three of them, whatever they are.
Meanwhile, the only creature alive who considers me her mother could never say that I share my own mother’s motherly qualities. Even if she could talk, my cat Maevis, who I’ve taken care of for all her nine years despite a tendency to get turned around wandering near the Land of Motherhood’s welcoming borders, would probably not describe me as a selfless, giving person. Ever since my mother started calling Maevis her grandcat and suggesting that I, too, am a mother, the amount of time I spend adding (but never actually purchasing) Mother’s Day gifts for myself to my long list of wants would appall most sensible cats. Maevis often sits in the sunlight on top of my desk, watching me add sweater wraps, designer sneakers, and fancy shampoo sets to my list, silently judging me for turning a celebration of mothers into an excuse to think about possibly straying from my budget.
Mother’s Day has thus become a challenging holiday for me; shopping for my mother is as difficult as teaching my cat to give me verbal permission to treat myself for being a mom of sorts. This year, I went the direct route and pumped my mother for information on what she’s into these days, but to no avail. She has a book collection that would intimidate Charles Dickens, enough beauty and health products to open her own Whole Foods franchise, and extra money laying around now that her two grown children aren’t stopping by just to grab a couple of cans of soup from the back of the pantry.
And me? I’ve continued to hold off on treating myself, despite wanting many things from a wishlist that doubles as a map and feeling exactly the way most mothers probably feel when their children are mewling in their faces at 4 a.m., unable to make their own bowls of cereal or manage the pull tabs on a few tuna cans.
Mom's new necklace
As I sat down to write this, I began to slowly, reluctantly wonder if perhaps the best gifts to give are the things I’d want for myself. My mom and I have similar tastes, so I took a chance and chose the item at the top of my own list of wants – a dainty sterling silver wishbone charm necklace – and ordered it in gold for my selfless, giving, jewelry-shy mother. (She’s not allowed to read this post until after Mother’s Day. Mom, if you’re reading, way to spoil the surprise.)
All was well, maybe, until she threw a wrench in the works (do they sell wrenches at Sephora?) by calling to ask what Maevis plans to get me for Mother’s Day. I put up the good fight but gave in to her firm, adorable insistence that Maevis has been bugging her for Mother’s Day gift ideas for the last two weeks.
“You’re her mother and she’s just going crazy wondering what you’d like,” she said.
I know that feeling. Fortunately, it was very recently replaced by yet another surge of loving admiration for my selfless, oh-so-giving mother. She and I will soon own matching wishbone necklaces, mine in silver, hers in gold. It’s not the most groundbreaking Mother’s Day present of all time, but then again, I’m not that hard to shop for.
Crunchy Countdown: 9 Ice Cream Cone Trends You Should Know
Apr.4
I’m a huge fan of eating ice cream all year round — even in a blizzard. Did someone mention Blizzards?
But the melting of the snow certainly reprograms the brain back to the joys of taking the family out for a special stroll to the neighborhood ice cream stand.
In the spirit of Spring, I’d like to share some ice cream cone-related trends you should be aware of (in order of importance)….
#9 — FASHION DESIGNER CONES
When you’re wearing that cute little black dress, you wouldn’t want to be caught dead eating ice cream from a generic sugar cone. This fabulous designer Chanel cone will make you the envy of every mom at your local scoop stand. Truth be told, Chanel has not branched out into the ice cream accessories business just yet. This was a fun photo prop created by art photographer Liz Von Hoene. But if Bloomingdales can serve up high-end candy apples, can fashion cones be far behind?
#8 — WOODEN ICE CREAM CONES
This is the ideal ice cream to serve your toddlers. Wood doesn’t drip on the floor. Wood doesn’t stain the upholstery or carpet. We love the whimsicalness of all Melissa and Doug toys, and we’d like to congratulate them for winning a Cribsie Award for “Best Wooden Toys They Won’t Want to Share.” That also opens up a natural opportunity for me to congratulate ourselves for winning the Cribsie for Cutest Nursery Wall Decals!
#7 — ICE CREAM CONE TATTOOS
Hip-Hop star Gucci Mane has received a lot of electronic ink speculating what motivated him to permanently etch his face with a triple-scoop ice cream cone with the word “Brrr” printed on it. The rapper’s spokesperson, Kali Bowyer, told Rolling Stone magazine that the tattoo “is a reminder to fans of how he chooses to live his life. Cool as ice — as in ‘I’m so icy, I’ll make ya say Brrr.”
Apparently, Mr. Mane also wears an ice cream cone medallion to convey the same message.
#6 — CUPCAKE CONES
If you haven’t bit into a cone and come up all cake, then you haven’t been to a birthday party lately. Ice cream cone cupcakes are so popular that Williams-Sonoma just came up with a special cupcake pan to duplicate the look of ice cream cones without using actual cones. Of course, that kinda defeats the original purpose, doesn’t it?
#5 — FLAVORED ICE CREAM CONES
OREO ice cream cones are a huge hit at my house. Goes especially great with mint chocolate chip. I’m surprised that there hasn’t been huge strides made in this area. Why are there no strawberry-flavored cones or vanilla-flavored cones? Certainly, there are plenty of variations at local shops that dip the cones in various coatings, but there’s a golden opportunity here to bake in the flavor.
According to The New York Times, there was a gourmet cone company in the late 1980s called Taste Buds, but it either went of business or doesn’t believe in publicizing itself on the Web. Taste Buds had infused real peanut butter and apple puree into their cones.
#4 — MOTORIZED ICE CREAM CONE
If you buy AA batteries in giant 64-packs at Costco and you are wondering what you will possibly use them all for, then you are in luck. The Motorized Ice Cream Cone by Hog Wild Toys saves you the trouble of moving your tongue. You keep the tongue stationary and let the mechanized revolving cone do the work for you. It’s the same revolutionary concept behind the electronic lollipop holder. As a bonus, the removable ice cream dish is dishwasher safe.
#3 — POLITICAL CONES
When political satirist Stephen Colbert unveiled his “AmeriCone Dream” flavor with Ben & Jerry’s a few years back, he accused the entire institution of dessert of harboring a “well-known liberal agenda.” He promised that his new flavor, which included fudge-covered waffle cone pieces, would “bring some balance back to the freezer case.”
We love the idea of including shattered ice cream cone shards embedded in the ice cream itself. It lends the same crunchy sensation as the broken cookies in those Carvel Ice Cream cakes.
#2 — SOLID CHOCOLATE-FILLED CONES
Easter’s coming up and the greatest disappointment in the universe is biting off a chocolate bunny’s head and discovering the hollow body cavity. Biting air doesn’t satisfy the appetite. What will, however, is this Solid Chocolate Ice Cream Cone made with a real cone and topped with sprinkles and a cherry. This yummy gem was created by Dylan’s Candy Bar, the Manhattan candy boutique owned by Dylan Lauren, daughter of fashion designer Ralph Lauren.
#1 — ICE CREAM CONE CHALKBOARD WALL DECALS
C’mon, were you expecting anything else at Number One?
WallCandy’s Ice Cream Cone Chalkboard Wall Stickers would make the perfect decor for any ice cream shop wanting to showcase its “Special of the Day” in a stylish way. But it’s also the perfect playroom decoration for the kiddies who are playing with Melissa and Doug’s wooden ice cream scoops or scooping out real flavors to enjoy in the battery-operated cone!
There’s plenty of drawing space on this dessert-themed decor. Green chalk can instantly create pistachio ice cream. Pink chalk can scribble Peppermint Stick, the kind that stains your tongue forever.
And if you have an irrepressible sweet tooth, you can pair the chalkboard ice cream wall sticker with the Sweet Dreams Fairies, the lollipop wand-waving trio who brighten up any little girl’s bedtime routine.
(Have a favorite ice cream cone trend that we missed? Please share it at marketing@wallcandyarts.com)
Surprise Wall Decals and Other Inexpensive Ideas to Boost Bunk Décor and Sleepaway Camp Experiences
Mar.31
Photo credit: Cammy Ambrosini
We weren’t Girl Scouts, but my sisters and I once found ourselves 50 miles from our home in Smyrna, Tennessee, at an official Girl Scout sleepaway camp. We were outsiders unfamiliar with the creeds, songs, and preexisting friendships. (The cookies, we knew.) Our father, bless his little pea-pickin’ heart, would’ve been fine with only his toothbrush and a pair of sweatshorts, so he wasn’t much help regarding what to bring to summer camp as we were packing only one tiny bag between the three of us the night before. Since children typically aren’t interested in what-to-pack lists and have a limited idea of exactly what they need in order to feel comfortable outside of food, shelter, bear, and blanket, we’d packed only leftover Easter candy and summer clothing. What would’ve been perfect for one night at Grandma’s was a bag of horrors for a week at sleepaway camp – the candy and clothing melted together, as candy and clothing tend to do in severe humidity according to the laws of childhood physics.
Even if your child has been to sleepaway camp before and found it to be a fantastic experience, night-before nerves are as natural as a walk in the woods. If packed carefully and correctly, the suitcase or backpack can be an antidote to that anxiety, especially if it contains little surprises for the child to look forward to once you’ve driven away. Presents make everything a little more bearable, as does the ability to claim a space and personalize it for the week ahead. This year, try the Christmas-in-July approach and include these five pieces of bunk accessories for your child to discover at that crucial moment just after arrival:
1. Bath accoutrements that fit easily into a mildew-proof, easy-to-carry shower caddy can counter the stress taking a shower at camp will likely muster. Bathing is a huge part of everyone’s comfort level, including the folks in our near vicinities, so giving a child a few unexpected grooming luxuries is a must. Pack a travel-sized sample of Mom’s favorite summer-scented shampoo, a soft loofah (even if your child doesn’t typically use a loofah, the gesture is sweetly memorable), and a couple of extra character toothbrushes. I personally recommend some method of marking the outside of a shower curtain to let outsiders know it’s occupied, such as a laminated sign equipped with a hook for a standard shower rod. Camp showers are typically noisy and other campers may not realize that the stall is in use. A moment of exposure can be devastating for a child – trust me.
2. Open up a pack of peel-and-stick chalkboard tiles and use smudge-proof chalkboard ink markers to write a lovely encouraging message on the package’s top tile. Your child can stick the decals to a bit of blank wall space near the bed and use the remaining two to doodle or write little reminders (such as, “Next year, pack all chocolate in a sealed plastic baggie.”) Don’t forget to include the chalk! Once your child meets a few pals, he or she might just decide to move the wall decals to a more common area so everyone can scribble silly messages.
A collection of souvenirs from home.
3. Scan three special photographs and print them as 8″x10″ copies perfect for fitting inside our Polaroid-style frames wall decals. Kids can fill any remaining wall space with comforting, familiar images and decorate each frame with the included tack and tape accent decals. If your child is worried about losing a cherished bear or blankie, perhaps a safe photograph would temporarily replace the real thing while he’s away. Since all of our wall decals are removable and reusable, it’ll be a cinch to bring them back home without upsetting the camp counselors by tearing up the bunk walls.
4. Handmade satchels of dried lavender, peppermint, and honeysuckle can be fantastic mood boosters and effective suitcase fresheners. Since scent is an essential part of human comfort (just ask brain doctor extraordinaire Dr. Daniel Amen) and campsites can quickly become stinky once dozens of children are in their playtime zones, a sweet-smelling gesture for a better night’s sleep might be in order.
"Dear Mom and Dad: Camp smells delicious!"
5. It might sound silly, but seed packets can provide your child with a unique activity for sharing with any would-be camp buddies during free time. Leave a note suggesting she make the campground a prettier place, the way she’s made your life extra beautiful.
The trick to packing a soothing suitcase is to combine new surprises with familiar comforts. Don’t forget to include something special from home that could stand to be soiled or even lost, such as an extra pillowcase in a recognizable pattern from Mom and Dad’s bedspread, or a cozy sweatshirt from Big Brother’s stash for those few uncomfortable minutes after exiting the lake or swimming pool. Oh, and make sure any edible treats you pack have a super high melting point.
WallCandy® Arts Celebrity Rescue Series: The Kardashians Need a Growth Chart Wall Decal to Maintain Status as Stiletto Superstars
Jan.20
Remember those now-defunct record clubs that offered 12 CDs for a penny, provided members were willing to pay outrageous prices for three new releases over the next year? My sister and I thought we were geniuses, the way we’d both sign up and fulfill our contracts, then cancel and start the whole process over again under slightly altered names. I remember having a contest we called “How High Can We Stack Our CD Collection?” Building a wavering tower of cases with sharp corners never got old, even when they fell and cracked, leaving pieces of vacuum-unfriendly plastic hidden in our bedroom carpet.
I recently learned that Kim Kardashian is the co-founder of a shoe club, ShoeDazzle. Members buy an introductory pair of shoes, then pay $39.99 monthly for a new pair each month. I did some research and went as far as the sign-up process would let me go without entering my credit card info. Truthfully, I wanted to know if the shoes were used. Ew. It turns out they aren’t, but some of the photos in the style-finder quiz showed stilettos I haven’t seen anyone wear outside of Us Weekly. The Frequently Asked Questions section of ShoeDazzle’s website claims that the club does offer flats and sanely stacked heels, but a healthy chunk of the featured shoes are definitely not for wobblers.
The Kardashian sisters make five-inch heels look effortless, and that’s no easy feat. Frankly, I’m a bit jealous, because I picture them hanging out together and playing their own sisterly game, “Whose Head is Closest to the Ceiling, Thanks to Some Fierce Heels?”
As if that kind of contest weren’t pressure enough, the Kardashians have to worry about maintaining their images as glamorous stiletto queens over the next several years. What if one of them went too far and fell in love with a rebellious pair of eight-inchers? She could sustain an injury that would put her in Keds on the red carpet, a fashion misstep so unbecoming of a Kardashian, the tabloid press would be merciless and the offending sister as powerless as Wonder Woman without her accessories. Even though Wonder Woman could get her job done in a pair of red Chucks, they wouldn’t complete her look the way those red boots do.
If Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe want to keep their friendly competition challenging and their ankles always in the Stiletto Safety Zone, they each need WallCandy’s gorgeous growth chart wall decal on the bedroom wall. Before public appearances or sorority sessions, they can make sure the heights of their heels are shorter than a fire hydrant, yet still at regulation Hollywood stature well above the yellow zinnia. If a pair of sky-high pumps puts one of their heads too far past horse status, she’ll know she’s at risk should she choose to victoriously dance above her sisters using anything more involved than an arms-only Cabbage Patch move.
It’s possible the Kardashians don’t hold such contests, but I strongly suggest they start. What’s more fun than a healthy competition between sisters to see who can cram the most marshmallows into her mouth, who can do the most somersaults to the end of a hallway, or whose shoes require taking the tiniest baby steps? As long as everyone gets a chance to win at something, there’s potential for growth. ★
Next week, WallCandy’s Celebrity Rescue Series shares the secret to sweet swan-free dreams with Natalie Portman.
Pixie Dust Countdown: The Top 9 Fairies of All-Time!
Jun.13
Let Entertainment Weekly worry about the “Top 100 Movie Characters” and let Rolling Stone worry about the “Top 100 Rock Album Covers.”
In honor of our new “Sweet Dreams Fairies,” we’ve researched America’s most fascinating fairies and are eager to present our latest rankings to you….
NUMBER 9: DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON
Most of us have fond memories of scoring a few bucks everytime our gums bled as a kid, but how many of us had our teeth knocked out by mean-spirited professional hockey players? In this 2010 destined-to-be-a-classic movie, wrestler-actor Dwayne Johnson plays an NHL star with an affinity for punching out smiles. He’s sadistically nicknamed the “Tooth Fairy” on the ice, but he goes too far when he tells his girlfriend’s daughter that there is no such thing as the tooth fairy. “Oh yeah?” says head Tooth Fairy Julie Andrews, “Now we’re going to punish you by forcing you to work on our staff!”
Yes, Julie Andrews has such power. Only in the movies.
NUMBER 8: GRAFFITI ARTIST SHEPARD FAIREY
It’s not so much that we admire the urban graffiti artist best known for defacing buildings with Andre the Giant stencils (another pro-wrestler fairy connection!) and later, creating those famous Warholian red-white-and-blue Obama prints that tout HOPE and CHANGE. Shepard earns his spot on the list for courageously forging on with his Fairey surname despite the years of playground and locker room torment he must have endured.
NUMBER 7: FAIRY PENGUINS
The smallest members of the penguin family, the 16-inch Fairies are usually found frolicking off the coast of Antarctica, Souther Australia, Tasmania and New Zealand. They snack on anchovies, kril, plankton, crab larvae and sea horses. They don’t bother chewing anything and swallow their food whole. Their feathers often have a blue tinge, which makes them absolutely the cutest members of the penguin family, too.
NUMBER 6: PIXIE THE TATTOO ARTIST
She’s a tough cookie on TLC’s reality series, “L.A. Ink,” but she’s got a family-friendly side. Some of her body art includes cupcakes and the Care Bears!
NUMBER 5: PIXIE OF THE X-MEN
Brandishing translucent dragonfly wings, Pixie is able to distract her friends and enemies with her magic hallucination-inducing Pixie Dust. The dust seems to have different effects on different characters. Sometimes it causes people to see unicorns or teddy bears. Other times, brightly colored bubbles. Pixie is able to teleport herself and large groups to far-away destinations. Her magic skills are so widely respected that she’s even begun to give Doctor Strange formal training.
NUMBER 4 : CINDERELLA’S FAIRY GODMOTHER
Years before electric hybrid cars and Volkswagens refitted to run on discarded French fry oil, the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella transformed an ordinary pumpkin into a royal chariot. Wish she would do something about the BP oil spill.
NUMBER 3: GLINDA, THE GOOD WITCH OF THE NORTH
Our sources tell us that not only was Dorothy’s savior in the Wizard of Oz a “good witch,” but she was also a good fairy. And it is gorgeous Glinda who is the first Oz character to stand up to injustice whenever and wherever she sees it.
NUMBER 2: TINKERBELL
Forget about Peter Pan. If you want true street cred with Boys Who Never Grow Up, you have to reinvent yourself as a video game!
NUMBER 1: SWEET DREAMS FAIRIES
Hey, you didn’t think we were going to rank the SDF girls any lower, did you?
What I love about the Sweet Dreams Fairies, besides their ability to drown out nightmares with “Confection Protection,” is the retro ice cream man feel to the graphics. It’s Candy Land. It’s Sammy Davis Jr.’s “Candy Man.”
At a time when cupcakes are BANNED at elementary school birthday parties, I admire fairies willing to take a stand and celebrate who they are. When you are in the fantasy world, lollipops and jelly beans are so much more fun and colorful than broccoli and asparagus.
Although the parent in me compels me to add that in the real world, your girls should eat their greens first and then dive into the cupcakes (in moderation).
It should be noted that Sweet Dreams Fairies, like all our stylish removable wall decals, contain absolutely no calories!
Stickerating Flashback: Did You Collect Stickers as a Kid?
Mar.15
Rainbows, teddy bears, unicorns, hearts and roses made up the core of every girl's sticker collection
My brother and I collected baseball cards when we were kids and our little sister collected stickers. She probably wondered why we hoarded dozens of the same player — we were under the delusion that they would be paying for our college tuition — and we wondered how many rainbows and unicorns were too many. I mean, heck, don’t they all look the same after a while?
Recently, my sister-in-law Kari brought all those memories flushing back when she pulled out her childhood sticker collection from the 1980s. Kari took her collecting very seriously as you can see from this official document verifying her status as a “True Sticker Lover.”
This 1983 treasure trove was sealed for posterity in one of those horrific self-stick photo albums that congeals and yellows almost instantly. Apologies for not removing the plastic sheets to improve the clarity of these scans, but I was scared of permanently damaging her collection by peeling up the pages.
The irony, of course, is deep. Why would one ever want to stick the back of the sticker to a sticky surface when one could just use the sticker itself? I suppose that would leave you with the versatility to later use the sticker when and wherever you wanted it, but this collection clearly was for display purposes only.
As a sharp contrast, I would immediately stick stickers to lunchboxes, lockers, pencil cases, doors, walls, windows, my bike and virtually any hard surface begging for decoration. I had a particular preference for Wacky Packages stickers, which came in packs with bubble gum. “Wacky Packs,” as we called them, were spoofs of consumer products. The whole notion of using “CRUST” toothpaste was a hilarious concept in my youth.
I am sure my parents and my school would have loved for there to be WallCandy removable wall stickers back when I was a kid. It would have saved them immeasurable aggravation from the chore of removing stubborn adhesives from nearly everything I touched.
Stickerating your child’s bedroom is the ultimate nostalgia trip for anyone who collected stickers or Wacky Packages back in the day. The influential parenting site Cool Mom Picks hints that decorating with WallCandy might also even help your baby get into Harvard. The logic isn’t actually that far fetched! You can read about the research behind our Smarts wall decals by clicking here.
But back to the nostalgia factor. WallCandy’s CEO Allison Krongard was addicted to stickers as a girl (surprised?) and calls her collection her “greatest treasure.”
It has yet to be rediscovered, though. Allison suspects her mother may have thrown her albums out — but holds no grudge.
“First and second grade were hot for sticker trading and going to the store to buy more was the best treat,” she says. “I remember bringing my sticker book to my friend Emily’s house for play dates. She had the best stickers because she had a cool older sister, Sarah, who bought stickers with her babysitting money.”
Allison remembers being a huge fan of puffy stickers with googly eyes and was also enamored with Hello Kitty.
Hey, who isn’t?
For now, Allison and other grown-ups yet to be reunited with their childhood sticker collections will have to vicariously live through Kari’s.
You can never get enough cute teddies:
And no doubt, every little girl fantasized about President Ronald Reagan, in both his Oval Office and Cowboy incarnations:
How about an overdose of syrupy sweetness: Unicorns, Rainbows, Balloons, Teddies, Pandas, Hearts & Kittens all rolled into one? — YOU BETCHA!
This last glimpse of Kari’s collection illustrates three historical facts about the 1980s:
1. Children’s author Sandra Boynton (I love “Pajama Time!” and “Moo, Baa, La La La!”) apparently had a chocolate fixation with her hippos.
2. The hostile backlash against Izod alligator golf shirts apparently had lasting power.
3. Pre-rollerblade roller skates weren’t just a 1970s thing.
How about you? Did you every collect stickers as a kid? Do you know where your album is now? Did you also have a childhood crush on Ronald Reagan? Please share your sticker memories with us in the comments below!
